Baring the Bones of my Sole

Something amazing happened today. I sunbathed! I was starting to wonder whether it warranted being called a holiday...It started with a 3.30am wake-up call to catch our early 4 hour flight, which took 5 due to unfavourable headwinds.  The Small One (S1) was harnassed to me throughout, twisting in the orange lasso, whilst I feigned… Continue reading Baring the Bones of my Sole

Feel Good Hit of the Summer

Having determined the ground rules for paternity leave the first time with explosive consequences (see "Well you know where your perineum is now"), I was optimistic that everything would be different the second time around.  Expectations had been lowered. I wasn’t angling for a push-present* or even a gushing Facebook status. I settled into maternity… Continue reading Feel Good Hit of the Summer

Uncomfortably Cosy

At around 6am every day I fall into my deepest slumber.  When I have first taken to bed around seven hours earlier, the Small One (S1) clings to me with an unexpected strength, banishing me to the very outer confines of the mattress.  My top half is left suspended precariously on the edge of the… Continue reading Uncomfortably Cosy

Peppa Chic

I learnt a handy new trick in today’s lashing rain.   As the buggy veered off its course, buffeted by my struggle to propel it forwards whilst maintaining a dry canopy over my rain-penetrable-parka, and at the same time hold the hand of a meandering toddler, something had to give.  Chucking my Cath Kidson umbrella and… Continue reading Peppa Chic

veni vidi vici

“Hi, I’m on the parent rota today”, I chirp, as I attempt to manoeuvre the triple buggy over Preschool's front step  - the Big One’s (B1) BFF is also hitching a ride on the ‘piggyback’ today – his mum rendered housebound after she couldn’t find her keys on the way out. My feet lift clear… Continue reading veni vidi vici

The Fear

I am unable to write at the moment, too filled with dread at the prospect of tomorrow's calendar entry.  I shudder at the thought of the impending 3 hours ahead. Taking my last deep gulp of fresh air, in I will go, surrendering my phone and lifeline, as I cross the threshold into the no… Continue reading The Fear

Reason #1 not to have a third child

My sister and I have alternated being pregnant for the past 4 years. Yippee it's her turn at the moment, so she's currently accommodating the dreaded black bin bags of maternity clothes at her house. Now storage is a bit of an issue in most families' homes. So as soon as a garment becomes even… Continue reading Reason #1 not to have a third child

Well you know where your perineum is now

Stealth boast: it often surprises people who have observed my gazelle-like limbs and absent derrière that the greatest pleasure of my life is food, that is eating it.  From this follows my staunch belief that the main duty of the father (insert genderless PC phrase in lieu of father here) during paternity leave is to… Continue reading Well you know where your perineum is now

I present to you exhibits A, B and C

I love TV. There, I've said it. If I don't get 1 undisturbed hour of entertainment of an evening it's been a bad day.  My main squeeze of late has been Series 4 of the 'Line of Duty' (that's 'Season' to the under 30's ) , closely followed behind by Series 1, of which which… Continue reading I present to you exhibits A, B and C